WATCH:
Watch this couple moving from blame and anger to effective and solution seeking communication
IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IN TROUBLE?
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TEST:
We all have different ways to express and receive love!
What is Your Love Language? Take the Love Languages Test HERE!
EXPLORE:
THE LOVE LISTS
Here they are - The Love Lists!
A Fun Exercise You and Your Partner Can Do Together!
Both of you take a piece of paper. Both of you note down at least twenty moments when you felt really loved and appreciated by your partner: E.g.: "I felt really loved and appreciated when you brought me breakfast in bed"; "I felt really loved and appreciated when you hugged me in front of your friends" etc. Make it very concrete. Don’t be vague. Read the lists to each other, and then swap the lists.
Do at least three things from each other's list each week. Be intentional. Give freely. Hang up the lists on your fridge, so you don't forget your good intentions!
Watch how, by changing the way we behave, we start to feel different about our relationship!
PRACTICE:
TOP TIPS FOR A HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP
First of all, find out what makes your partner really ‘tick’, then do lots of it! If you don't know what makes the other tick, do the Love Lists we showed you earlier. Learn to use your partner’s love language.
Give freely and with open hands.
Prioritize time together, your relationship with your partner must come first, not the children.
Allow time for the other to do their ‘own thing’, ‘Otherness’ and/or individual experiences keep the relationship vibrant and exciting!
Avoid arguments and screaming matches, use the Intentional Partner Dialogue for conflict resolution instead. "Yeah right", you might think, "This is not realistic!" Well actually it is! There is no gain in a screaming match, everyone loses in a screaming argument, especially your kids who have to listen to it, and actually you are role-modelling a very destructive way of communication! Unfortunately, even though after a yelling match you may think you have 'let it all out', your partner still does not get your point. Right? And your relationship or your marriage is going downhill a bit more each time!
Arguments like that are old patterns! Destructive old patterns we once learnt. We will use them over and over again, until one day we wake up and realize, our relationship/marriage has broken down.
Arguments do not work, communication works, let me teach you how.
Go to bed at the same time together!
ON A PERSONAL NOTE:
I am passionate about my work with couples! And here is WHY:
My first marriage broke down after a very poor experience of some very poor couples counselling. I was devastated. I felt I had done everything in my power, and yet, I was standing in front of a pile of rubble. Worse yet, with three small children by my side. After a painful period of agony, I went through a divorce.
As devastating as these years might have been, it motivated me to do something with my experience. I wanted to ensure that other couples would find better support, better counselling, in fact I was aiming for a high quality support that would make a lasting difference for the couples I was going to be working with!
This motivated me to train again!
Today I am very happily married for the second time!
A lot of the strategies that I am teaching, I use at home in my own marriage as well.
Because - THEY WORK!
PERSONAL, DEDICATED, AND PROFESSIONAL
We will always keep you and your goals at the heart of the treatment process, and use our knowledge of these to build a road map to the treatment approach. Our experience and training with a wide variety of methods allows us to choose an approach you will feel comfortable with.
