FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Find Your Answers Here
HOW DO I KNOW WE NEED THERAPY?
Do the online test on this site! It will let you know how you score in general. Also book a WOF assessment for your marriage/relationship. This thorough 1.5 hour assessment will give you a very honest reflection from a relationship specialist how things are and what you need to work on to make your relationship better, stronger and most importantly – happier!
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?
Most couples stay with The Couples Shed for an average of 8 to 12 sessions. Some stay longer, some finish in 2 or 3 sessions. It all depends on how bad it is, how long it has been going on for, but most importantly – how high your motivation for change is.
HOW DO WE KNOW WE ARE FINISHED?
Most couples know when they are finished: they are happier! Your therapist will also let you know when the work is done. As a couple, you will notice that during the end of the therapy process there is less to 'solve' anymore. Often couples can't think in the end what to discuss. When your therapist asks you how the week was, you will be able to communicate a lot of good things, and not so many bad things anymore…Your therapist also will periodically reassess your goals. Most or all of your goals from the initial session will be reached towards the end.
ISN'T IT VERY EXPENSIVE AND HOW DO I KNOW IT WILL HELP?
Your best bet is to hire an experienced, well trained, and professionally registered Counsellor who has Specialist Training in Couples Counselling. Unfortunately there are a lot of cowboys in the field, so don’t settle for the cheapest one. Also take some time to read the testimonies of real clients. People who actually have used the Counsellor's services, are your best reference.
It is not cheap, but the cost of divorce and separation are much higher, not even talking about the emotional cost. So no – it is not expensive.
WHAT IF MY PARTNER DOES NOT WANT TO COME?
In most cases I have seen, one partner is the ‘Dragger’ and the other is the “Draggie”. Not wanting to come is usually due to a fear of the unknown, of being vulnerable or confronted, or a fear that the Counsellor and the other partner will 'team up' against them.
A well trained couples' counsellor will never take sides, but will help you see things out of your partner’s perspective. Ask your partner what scares them about coming. You can also make a plan: if they really don’t like it, they don’t have to come back. In some cases it can help to come in individually and to explore your options. Ask your therapist!
WE HAVE SO MANY PROBLEMS I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START.
Your counsellor will help you in the first session to prioritize your goals. Even if you don’t know where to start when you read this, about 93% of couples report to feel much more hopeful after their first session.
HOW OFTEN PER WEEK SHOULD WE COME?
Your therapist will help you devise a plan that will work for you. It is mostly recommended to start off weekly or twice per week and change to fortnightly once things have started to improve.
WE LIVE FAR AWAY FROM AUCKLAND. WE DON’T HAVE ANY SERVICES AVAILABLE IN OUR AREA.
The Couples Shed offers Couples Counselling via SKYPE. Most people are hesitant in the beginning, but guess what – it is the future! Most people appreciate the convenience working with a therapist out of the comfort of their own home. No travel time, no traffic jams, and no babysitter cost! More money for you for a fantastic date night - after things have improved ☺
PERSONAL, DEDICATED, AND PROFESSIONAL
We will always keep you and your goals at the heart of the treatment process, and use our knowledge of these to build a road map to the treatment approach. Our experience and training with a wide variety of methods allows us to choose an approach you will feel comfortable with.